The Lézard Absurde of Angevin-Romanov Crimea is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its public floggings, ritual sacrifices, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 841 million lizardin are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the biggest lizard you've ever seen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 45.2%.

The thriving lizardin economy, worth 59.2 trillion 5 peso coins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 70,361 5 peso coins, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 423,306 per year while the poor average 5,274, a ratio of 80.3 to 1.

Students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic, the strong are acquitted and the weak are trampled in trial by a Lizard, people say that smog must be good for you because of its healthy green colour, and national parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Angevin-Romanov Crimea's national animal is the Lizard, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Angevin-Romanov Crimea is ranked 22,019^th in the world and 621^st in the Rejected Realms for Most Patriotic, with 45.22 flags saluted per person per day.